Bestseller
The Classic Whiteface
Elegant, composed and in charge. Brings order to any ring and a sequined suit to any occasion. Pairs beautifully with an Auguste.
Est. 1987 · Mail-order merriment
Clowns, delivered.
From the classic whiteface to the deeply committed mime, we ship hand-selected, professionally trained clowns of every variety straight to your door. Just open the lid and stand back.
The Fall Catalog
Pick your clown
Eight time-honoured varieties, each available in Standard, Deluxe and Extra-Honk. All clowns ship with a nose, a costume and a minimum of three bits.
The Auguste
Big shoes, bigger reactions. The lovable troublemaker who trips over nothing and gets a pie in the face so you don't have to.
Silent
The Mime
Arrives already trapped inside an invisible box, which saves us on packaging. Ideal for libraries, open-plan offices and light sleepers.
The Tramp
Patched coat, five-o'clock shadow, heart of gold. Specialises in wistful sweeping and the ancient art of the dropped hat.
The Rodeo Clown
Fearless, fast and surprisingly good with livestock. Comes with a barrel. Must be shipped by freight; please allow extra mooing room.
The Court Jester
Bells, riddles and a dangerous willingness to speak truth to power. Recommended for board meetings and medieval-themed weddings.
The Melancholy Pierrot
A single painted tear, a single sigh, a single perfect rose. Not technically "fun," but deeply, profoundly moving. Poetry readings a speciality.
Kid-approved
The Birthday Bash
Balloon animals (dogs, giraffes and one ambitious octopus), face paint, and a kazoo rendition of the song you're thinking of.
Four easy steps
How it works
Thirty-nine years of shipping joy (and confetti) to front porches across the nation have taught us a thing or two.
Choose
Pick a variety from the catalog, or take our 12-question Clown Compatibility Quiz.
We pack
Your clown is gently folded into a spacious, well-ventilated, climate-controlled box with snacks.
It ships
Overnight, ground or by unicycle courier in select cities. Tracking includes live honk updates.
Pop!
Turn the crank. Open the lid. When the party's over, the clown packs themselves up for return.
The Box Promise
Roomier than it looks.
- Clown-first comfortEvery box is padded, well lit, stocked with snacks, and roughly the size of a small car on the inside. We don't ask how.
- Fully recyclableBoxes are made from 100% recycled cardboard and can be reused as a puppet theatre, fort, or extremely short stage.
- The Grin GuaranteeNot a single smile in the first ten minutes? We'll ship a replacement clown free, or refund you in full — no questions, a few riddles.
- Fair-wage performersEvery clown in our catalog is a paid professional with benefits, dental and a guaranteed lunch break outside the box.
From the mailbag
Unboxed & delighted
Sample notes from our (entirely imaginary) customers.
★★★★★Ordered one Auguste for my son's seventh birthday. Twelve children, one clown, zero tears. I've never felt so powerful.
★★★★★The mime has been in our office for a week. Productivity is up. Nobody is sure if he's left. We're afraid to ask.
★★★★☆The Rodeo Clown was magnificent. One star off only because the barrel is now living in my garage permanently.
Questions, answered
FAQ
Is the clown actually in the box?
Yes, for the last few hundred feet. Clowns travel to your area in comfortable coaches and only climb into the box at the curb, for dramatic effect. It's in the contract. They insist.
Can I order more than one clown?
Absolutely. Orders of six or more qualify for our Car-Load package, in which all clowns arrive in a single compact car. Orders of twenty or more get a marching band.
I'm scared of clowns. Do you have options?
We hear you. Try the Mime (silent, keeps a respectful distance) or request our "Gentle Mode," in which your clown wears understated make-up and a cardigan.
What's your return policy?
Every booking includes a pre-paid return. When the event wraps, your clown packs up, folds the box, and leaves a balloon animal behind as a thank-you.
Do you ship internationally?
Currently we ship within the US and to select international circuses. Customs forms list each clown as "joy, assorted."
Something funny is on its way.
Join the Clown in a Box mailing list for early access to seasonal clowns, catalog drops, and 10% off your first box.